Using Cognitive Behavioral Theory to be a Happier Muslim

Cognitive Behavioral Theory, or CBT, is a theory of counseling that believes that our thoughts cause our feelings, and our feelings result in our actions. The idea is that if we can identify our thoughts, we can change our feelings and thus our actions.

Compare these two people

For example, let us say that two people receive a low grade on their first quiz in a class. These two people have radically different thoughts (interpretations) regarding this low grade. Person 1 thinks, “This is terrible. I feel hopeless. I am never going to get a good grade in this class.” Person 2 thinks, “Ok, I am disappointed, but maybe this is going to be a class that really challenges me to grow. I am going to stay calm and do what I can to bring my grade up.”

Which person do you think will end up performing better in the class?

An important point is that our thoughts are not always true. Our interpretation of a situation could be inaccurate:

“…perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not” (Surah Baqarah, 2:216).

#1 Awareness and Positive Self Talk

The challenge is that many of us are not aware of our thoughts! We automatically have these negative thoughts, and then we feel bad and wonder why! So the goal is to become more aware of our thoughts and then to change negative self talk to positive self talk.

For example, sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of motherhood. I think that I’m not doing a good job and then I feel down. What I have learned to do is to stop and become aware of my feelings. Once I realize that I am feeling down, I immediately talk to myself in positive ways, such as:

“No mother is perfect. I have a lot of good qualities as a mom and I can try to find solutions to any problems I am facing.”

#2 Self awareness is the key

The most important step is to be aware of ourselves when we start having negative feelings. Some people are not aware of themselves and thus, keep feeding themselves with negative thoughts that do not help them in any way!

CBT is important for being a happy Muslim because positive thinking leads to positive actions, and positive actions bring us closer to AllahSWT :

“Those who believe and perform good deeds, We shall indeed grant pardon to them for their misdeeds and shall reward them according to the best of their deeds.” (Al Ankabut, 29:7).

So the way to feel happier is to keep feeding your mind with positive self talk until you feel better.
Your self talk should be something that you believe and should not be mere words.